We're facebook friends in real life
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
