don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
