i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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