I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
