Plan B is the new Plan A
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
