Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
