Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
