You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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