So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
