shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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