When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
