I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
