you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
