Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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