My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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