the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
40s are totally the cure
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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