He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
