yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just sent this text using only my big toe
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Randomize
