ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
