Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so that wasnt chicken after all
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
