There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
