She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
