hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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