"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
