Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
