went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
