Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you will always have a special place in my vag
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
