Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
