I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
