my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
