What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
