So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
