i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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