so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
