I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
