worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
