I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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