he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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