I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
