Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
