in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
