We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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