Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
