Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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