is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
