It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
