I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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