I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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