Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
