You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
